When the Mirror Finally Catches Up: Recognizing Your Real-Time Impact
I didn’t expect to feel emotional when I turned in my annual faculty self-assessment. I was simply following protocol, checking off accomplishments, listing courses taught, aligning with outcomes, adding service hours. But as I scrolled back through everything I had done this past year, I found myself… surprised. Humbled, even.
I had taught multiple courses across semesters, managed a full undergraduate program, published two books, made steady progress on my PhD qualifying exams, supported my husband’s small business, ran a household, and (miraculously) still managed to practice daily self-care and show up fully present for my child. When I looked at it all together, the reflection looking back at me was different. The mirror finally caught up to the truth of who I’ve become.
Yet, how long did I walk past that mirror without seeing any of it?
How often do you move through life like that?
We keep going. We reach a milestone and barely pause before our minds leap to the next.
No breath.
No reflection.
No celebration.
Just: what’s next? What if we shifted that? What if, instead of racing to the next big thing, we honored the small wins that built the bridge beneath our feet?
The Wobbly Steps That Matter Most
Dr. Lindsey Godwin tells the story of being in an airport when a toddler just learning to walk captured the hearts of everyone around him. Each time he stumbled, strangers broke into applause. “Something beautiful happened,” she writes. “Strangers—young and old, from every background and corner of life—began cheering him on.”
It made her wonder: When did we stop cheering for our own wobbly steps?
That moment, watching a one-year-old stumble and rise again, cheered not for perfection but for effort, holds a profound truth. We begin life being celebrated for trying. Not for mastery. Not for speed. Just for trying.
But somewhere along the way, we begin attaching worth to outcomes. Success becomes defined by big, public milestones: the degree, the job, the house, the launch. When those things feel far away, our day-to-day effort can start to feel invisible, even to ourselves.
The Science of Small Wins
Harvard professor Teresa Amabile and psychologist Steven Kramer, in their research on motivation, coined the term The Progress Principle. What they found was simple but powerful: motivation doesn’t come from giant breakthroughs, it comes from recognizing small, consistent progress.
Every time we acknowledge even the tiniest step forward, we light up the brain’s reward system. A hit of dopamine is released. We feel good. That feeling good makes us want to keep going. This becomes a psychological upward spiral, an engine of self-belief and sustained momentum.
In contrast, when we dismiss those little wins or skip over them entirely, we short-circuit that loop. Then we burn out. We start to believe that our effort isn’t enough. We move the goalposts so fast we never even touch them. Our goals, hopes, and dreams become unattainable.
But Let’s Get Real: Why Don’t We Celebrate?
Psychologist Dr. Melanie McNally writes about her high-achieving client “Jada,” a CEO who accomplished her annual expansion goal six months early, but immediately moved on to planning her next major acquisition. When McNally suggested she pause to celebrate, Jada looked baffled, even uncomfortable. It had never occurred to her to celebrate. She didn’t even know what that would look like.
If that sounds familiar, you’re not alone.
Somewhere along the line, we were taught that rest is weakness, that celebration is self-indulgent, and that humility means downplaying our success. We were taught to keep climbing. And so we ignore our wins, big or small, and risk losing the very motivation that fuels us.
But science, and spirit, say otherwise.
According to McNally, when we celebrate wins, we reinforce positive behavior, reduce stress, and strengthen our capacity to learn from what’s working. Celebration isn’t just joy, it’s neurological integration. It’s memory. It’s growth.
What if we don’t do it? That’s one of the fastest tracks to burnout. Christina Maslach and Michael Leiter, authors of The Burnout Challenge, name “insufficient reward” as one of the six core causes of burnout. Translation: if we never acknowledge our efforts, our nervous system eventually stops caring. It stops trying and goes numb.
You Deserve the Reward, Not Just the Results
Melissa Russell from Harvard Summer School breaks it down further. Celebrating small wins helps us stay motivated, form good habits, and maintain perspective when setbacks inevitably happen. And those wins don’t need to be dramatic.
Some days, it’s enough to:
Wake up and take a short walk.
Set a boundary you used to ignore.
Send the email you’ve been putting off.
Feed yourself something nourishing.
Say no to something that drains you.
Say yes to something that lights you up.
Every one of those moments is a win. Every one is a step forward.
What Happens When You Do Celebrate
When we do pause and recognize our progress, something changes. We start to feel our momentum again. We build self-trust. We deepen our emotional resilience. We begin to see the long road not as a burden but as a series of meaningful, connected steps.
The pauses and acknowledgements… they’re contagious. Sharing your small wins builds connection. It gives permission to others to do the same. Just like that airport crowd cheering for a toddler, your joy creates a ripple of encouragement in your community. It changes the culture.
When McNally’s client Jada finally told her friends about her early expansion win, they surprised her with a dinner and celebrated her success. That night became more than just a reward, it became a memory of love, support, and sisterhood. The kind of moment you carry for years.
So, What About You?
What have you done this week that deserves to be honored?
What step did you take, however shaky, that helped move your life forward?
Even if no one else saw it. Especially if no one else saw it.
Your mirror is waiting to catch up.
The Self-Assessment Exercise
A quiet moment to name what matters, one win at a time.
This isn’t the kind of self-assessment you turn in to a boss or professor. This is one you gift to yourself. No grades. No judgment. Just you, sitting down to recognize the honest, meaningful work of living your life.
You don’t need anything fancy. Just a piece of paper, your journal, a notes app on your phone, or even the back of a receipt in your purse. You can do this.
Step-by-Step Instructions:
Find five minutes today (or this week) where you can sit quietly.
Light a candle if you want. Make some tea. Put on a playlist that makes you feel seen. This is a sacred moment with yourself.Answer the following questions in writing or out loud:
What did I do this week that required effort, even if no one else saw it?
Where did I show up, even when I didn’t feel like I had much to give?
What emotional, mental, or physical challenge did I move through with grace or grit?
What small task did I finally cross off my list?
What am I proud of—even just a little?
(Tip: If you feel stuck, scroll back through your texts, calendar, or camera roll. You’ve likely done more than you remember.)
Write a personal affirmation that reflects your effort this week.
It doesn’t have to be poetic or profound. It just has to be true.
Try starting with:“This week, I…”
“Even when it was hard, I…”
“I’m proud that I…”
Optional: Keep a “Done List.”
Each day, jot down just one thing you accomplished. By the end of the week, you’ll have a powerful record of how you kept going, moment by moment.
This practice can become a powerful reset when you’re tired, doubting yourself, or losing momentum. You don’t need to wait for someone else to hand you a certificate of recognition.
You are already the witness to your life.
Be a kind one.
Be a generous one.
Be a true one.
The Mirror Affirmation Practice
A visual ritual to witness your small wins in real time
Sometimes we need more than a journal prompt. We need a physical space, a visual reminder to anchor ourselves in the truth of what we’ve done. That’s where the mirror affirmation exercise comes in.
This practice invites you to use your own mirror…yes, the same one you brush your teeth in front of…as a daily space of celebration and acknowledgment. Whether it’s the bathroom mirror, a hallway mirror, or even a small one taped to the back of your closet door (I created one you can print off and tape anywhere!), the idea is simple:
What You’ll Need:
A mirror in a place you’ll see often or print off the one below
A pad of sticky notes
A pen or marker
A willingness to give yourself credit, one win at a time
How to Do It:
Each day, write down one small win on a sticky note. Just one. Something real. Something you did.
"I folded the laundry right out of the dryer instead of letting it wrinkle."
"I sent that email I was dreading."
"I drank water before coffee."
"I read Natasha’s blog today instead of doomscrolling Instagram."
Stick it to your mirror. Add it wherever there’s space. Watch your reflection get surrounded by proof that you are showing up for your life.
Say something kind to yourself. Every time you pass that mirror, whether you’re brushing your teeth or just walking by, take one second to acknowledge the effort behind the sticky notes. A simple, “You’re doing great,” or “I see how hard you’re trying,” can go a long way.
End-of-week reflection: On Sunday (or whatever day feels like your week’s end), stand in front of that mirror. Take each sticky note off one by one and read them aloud to yourself. Let them land. Then, take a moment to say:
“I did all of this. I showed up. I am proud of me.”
You can then choose to keep the notes in a jar or notebook or even start fresh the next week. What matters is this:
You saw yourself. You acknowledged your efforts. You were not invisible to your own eyes.
Final Thoughts: Cheer for the Wobbles
You don’t need to wait for the perfect moment, the final milestone, or the public applause. You don’t need to hustle your way into self-worth. You’re already showing up. You’re already trying.
That’s enough to start cheering.
So stand up. Look in the mirror. See yourself clearly.
And this time, don’t look away.
A Note From Me to You
Before you go, I want you to hear this directly from me:
The little things really do count. Not just symbolically. Not just sentimentally. They count because they hold things together. They are the quiet stitches in the fabric of a life that works.
Every time you fold that load of laundry, you are making sure your family wakes up to clothes that are clean, soft, and ready to wear. You’re wrapping them, and yourself, in a kind of unspoken care.
Every time you manage to squeeze in a meal between responsibilities, you are choosing to nourish your body, even when time and energy are running low. That matters. You matter.
Every time you take a few moments to read something like this blog, you are feeding your mind and spirit. You are giving yourself space to reflect. That’s not small. That’s sacred.
I see how easy it is to overlook those things. I’ve done it too. But I want you to pause here, just for a breath, and let yourself feel it:
You are showing up. You are doing the work. You are holding more than most people will ever know.
Still, you are here.
That is extraordinary.
I’m proud of you.
References
Amabile, T., & Kramer, S. (2011). The Progress Principle: Using Small Wins to Ignite Joy, Engagement, and Creativity at Work. Harvard Business Review Press.
Godwin, L. (2024, October 29). Why we should cheer for life’s wobbles. Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/possibilitizing/202410/why-we-should-cheer-for-lifes-wobbles
Maslach, C., & Leiter, M. P. (2022). The Burnout Challenge. Harvard University Press.
McNally, M. A. (2024, June 12). From small steps to big wins: The importance of celebrating. Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/empower-your-mind/202406/from-small-steps-to-big-wins-the-importance-of-celebrating
Russell, M. (2024, May 30). Why celebrating small wins matters. Harvard Summer School Blog. https://summer.harvard.edu/blog/why-celebrating-small-wins-matters
Wang, W., Li, J., Sun, G., et al. (2017). Achievement goals and life satisfaction: The mediating role of perception of successful agency and the moderating role of emotion reappraisal. Psicol. Refl. Crít., 30(25). https://doi.org/10.1186/s41155-017-0078-4
